Got Twins? Help a Sista Out

From: http://makingmade.com/2012/11/10/day-313-lyric-lettering/

So I thought I'd be ok. Figure out what I needed 2 of, figure out what can be shared, read through recommendations, and then I would be all set. Except with twins, it's not all easy-peasy-logical like that. Things don't fit all nice and neat into categories and some things cross over with twins that don't for parents of singletons. Plus, information specific to twins is a tad on the sparse side; unless you don't have a job, social life, or hobbies. All of which I do have  (yes - I am very aware a lot of that will change come this fall).

Price is an issue. We don't need the most expensive items, nor could we afford it. We don't get the luxury of handing things down to the next sibling. My ideas of a slightly fancy crib with all the ooh-la-la etchings of high-end, wood furniture has gone out the window with the new requirement of 2 simultaneous cribs.

That's not to say I want everything cheap and of suspect quality. Having had a child 21 years ago (oh-my-god just writing that), I am keenly aware that sometimes you have to spend money to save money. And then there are times where cheaper sometimes = less safe, not a description you want with your baby products.

Then there are space issues. Car trunk space issues. Bedroom space issues. Sitting on the couch but there isn't room for 2 things on the floor by the coffee table space issues. Arm space issues. The list goes on and on.

So what's a girl to do?

Instinctively, I reached for the book Baby Bargains (8th edition) a few months back when I was at a large consignment sale. This was at the beginning of the pregnancy and may have even been before we knew we had twins. The book was chocked full of good information, but I realized that it was an older edition and that several safety things had changed since it's 2009 publication. That lead me to purchase the kindle version of the latest edition. (DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT, purchase the kindle edition. Hopefully I will remember to post the long list why later.) Suffice to say, that I realized that it, as well as other resources, was lacking in areas that would be important to parents of twins.

What sort of things? I'm glad you asked!!! (I'll even happier if someone has some answers!) Here are some examples from my over-active imagination:

• Infant carrier car seats. Part of the consideration of these things is weight. While a 30lb carrier (not including baby weight) might be ok to manage going up the stairs to my front door, 2 of these things would not be. Do I just go for the convertible car seats that accommodate infants? The biggest complaint of these (for infants) is that baby wakes up when you remove them (since you can't take the entire thing out each time), but honestly I don't think I'll be able to carry two of the infant car seats every time I leave my car sans hubby. As much as I'd like to see my jiggly arms tone up, I suspect this may not be the best plan. 
• On that note: what about strollers? Do I go for the strollers that fit the infant car seats or has my previous concern just eliminate them? Side-by-side strollers or front back? Front back facing or non-facing. Which is going to fit better in our car trunks? I know one of us will eventually have to upgrade to a bigger vehicle (please let it be hubby, please let it be hubby), but considering my car was bought in 2010 and hubby's was bought last year - that ain't happening soon. (All those pesky IVF/Surro expenses and son's college expenses.)
• What about carriers? I grabbed some groovy sling/wrap/boho-whatever-you-call-them at a consignment sale, but I'm guessing that after a few months we will need something a bit sturdier that won't kill my back. I'm only 5'3 and 115lbs. (Ok fine - 123 lbs, but I will get back to my pre-IVF weight soon. Whatever.) What carriers work well when carrying two??? Or do you need one for front and one for back? In that case, what one is safe on your back?
• Bouncers. Do I need to worry about the elevated head sleep thing for twins? I hear it's common. I've already fallen in love with this ghastly, overpriced Babybjorn Babysitter bouncer that I'm fairly certain we HAVE TO HAVE. Have found a possible used connection for one, but I have no idea how well these things handle up over time. If need be, this will probably be my splurge item. I'm obsessed with them. 

If you are a parent of twins - what were your MUST HAVE items? How many sheets is a good number to have? (Just popped in my head.) How did you address the issues above? What am I forgetting?

HELP A SISTA OUT. I'm beginning to bug out. OK FINE. Bug out more than normal. OK FINE. I never really was normal. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW? 

P.S. Please help. 

A Ferris Wheel

From: http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/devil%20in%20the%20white%20city?before=17

Recently I read: The Devil in the White City: Murder, Magic, and Madness at the Fair that Changed America, an intriguing, historical novel about the World's Fair in Chicago in 1893. While I will spare you even a brief review (ok fine, for the most part I liked it - there are you happy?), I was fascinated to get the history behind the wonderous Ferris Wheel - a staple to every decent fair I have ever known. In this well researched story, the Ferris Wheel, though only briefly mentioned, so perfectly captures the feelings that I am going through right now. From the build up of delays and potential problems to the exhilarating ride to horrible possibilities of things that can (and do) go wrong to the remorsefulness that comes with loss and success.

Similarly,
I'm nervous.
And excited.
And scared.
And guilt-ridden.

Who knew that after getting our initial hCG values (and good ones at that), that I'd still feel like a bundle of nerves? In the Land of IF*, a positive pregnancy test really is just extending the anxiety from the 2ww. Yay we are pregnant with a good hCG! Oh crap - I hope it doubles in two days. Yay it went over double! Oh crap, I hope it grows as expected by next blood test. Yay! It grew as expected! Congrats - you get a new 2ww till ultrasound, where hopefully, you will see a heartbeat. It feels like every milestone comes with new nerve-shattering waits.

But I'm also excited. For the first time ever, I'm considering shopping. On the surface that seems like a trivial thing, but as fellow IFers** know, it really isn't. There's always the thought "What if I buy something and then something goes wrong?"  In March, we have a HUGE, local community mom consignment event coming up, and if everything is still ok, then I'll feel like I can purchase some things. Not big things, but SOME things. A pleasure I have completely avoided on all of our tries (with the exception of 1 book last year). There are other things I am excited about, but the idea of allowing myself to shop is a pretty big deal.

Being scared is another emotion all together. There are so many things to worry about. Will the pregnancy make it? What if there are twins? What if there are more??? What if the baby(ies) are born early? What if there are medical problems afterwards? As the pot grows bigger, it feels like any loss would be that much more.

Lastly, I feel guilty. Of late, I have not read as many success/pregnancy/baby blogs as I normally do and even ditched a baby shower a few weeks ago that came smack in the middle of my 2ww. I just needed a break from everyone else's "Woo hoo". Quite frankly, I was trying to simultaneously prep my self for a bad outcome, while still holding out some hope. Now we have had a few "woo hoos" of our own and I think of all the other individuals out here in blog land, men and women who have been through so much more than me, still waiting. And that makes me sad. And it makes me feel guilty. Like a weird survivors guilt where circumstances could change and put me right back were I was before. Guilty for my current feelings of success that happened while I was shamefully avoiding other's.

The ride of infertility is much like that first ferris wheel created in 1893. Not only does the ferris wheel go up and down on it's circular ride, but the details before, after, and in-between can't be ignored. The marvel of it all staying together, even when massive numbers of nuts and bolts fly off, is awe-inspiring. On so many levels, each successful turn is to be admired.

*When I refer to the Land of If, I mean it from a metaphorical perspective. I am not quoting the book, but I do like to place a link to it because I feel in this phrase, Melissa Ford so perfectly captured the seclusion often felt by our community: people dealing with infertility. As such, I like to give her credit.

**IFers: people dealing with infertility. 

Shopping and remembering Kashmir

Two years ago, my husband and I visited Kashmir for a few days. I could write an entire chapter surrounding those days, but for now I will keep it to a specific recollection that I was just reminded about while reading another blog: shopping and bargaining in India. Not for the shy introvert. They are serious over there and you should come prepared, or only go to towns that have some fixed price stores.

Let me preface this with a little notation that I tend to stand out in India. Besides the normal thing of being a westerner, I usually wear sindoor in my hair (signifies I'm married), bindi on forehead (I love any excuse to wear these), and bangles on my arms (besides the role of jewelry, signifies love and good wishes of health for my husband). With my blonde hair and blue eyes, you can usually spot me a mile away. In Kashmir, even the ever popular Indian tourist town of Srinagar, there are people notified of my presence before I even arrive.

The areas of Kashmir are quite breathtaking. The shopping is exquisite, as long as you have a good driver. A good driver will drive you to incredible places, knows the owners of all the good stores, and will constantly keep you entertained. You can have a daily driver at an extremely good rate, and he will make sure to look out for you every step of the way.

That last part is actually pretty important given that the US government tends not to advise travel for westerners there too often. Levels go up and down, but we naively managed to plunk ourselves there only to find out there was an elevated alert. Again, our driver was excellent, and both my husband and I have good instincts for caution. One day we stayed in the hotel room and another day we moved from our houseboat. (For those of you wondering, the culture there is quite different from where my husband was born in India.)

Back to the point (as I have wandered quite far): the shopping is great. As I type this, I am looking at one of the beautiful rugs we purchased on our trip that adorns our living room floor. We bought 4 of various sizes and they wrapped them so tight for us, the $50 charge the airline gave us was negligible. I've never even seen rugs of this quality in the US, quite possibly because the shops that would carry/import them here, are way too expensive for me to even enter.

On one shopping trip, our driver took us to a wonderful marble store. We were able to watch the workers outside meticulously inlaying the color designs into the opal like stones. Upon entering the store, the main salesmen was already prepared for us, much to my husband's irritation (he's not a fan of big sale pitches). When they tried to turn the lights off to show us the glow of a lit marble, my husband cut to the chase - he was not in the mood for a show - "how can we tell the price of items we may like?"

With a completely serious expression, looking from me to my husband, the slick salesmen replies, "On the back of each item there will be a number. Multiply that by 10 and that is your price."

Needless to say, we did not buy any marble that day.