I've had a problem with stress for many months now. My last job had me in a terrible situation that started off being stressful because of a fellow employee causing me A LOT of problems. I notified my boss, but nothing came of it and I just tried to work through it. It got better and then it got bad again. Finally I had to notify the same boss (who also was our only HR person) of serious stress coming from workplace and that my husband and I were starting IVF (she had been through it before and I needed to get our benefit information). This was followed by my sub-sequential firing.
Ironically, they kept me long enough to COVER for two male employees that were out on paternity leave on overlapping periods. The same week the second one returned, the person that I had been having problems with incidentally, they let me go. Like a punch in the stomach, they tried to claim it was for performance reasons, even though they had never given me any notice of a problem. In fact the week prior, our most difficult client had emailed me with praises, and copied my boss, along with several other employees, on it. I got accolades from clients on a regular basis.
Needless to say I've been stressed. Like "how are we going to afford IVF and surrogacy" stress. Like knowing we have a very narrow window to use my eggs stress. Like obsessive thoughts of the injustice stress. Like crying, self-doubt, not being able to sleep stress. All which, of course, is the WORST thing for IVF and eggs.
But as much as this seems like a pity-party post, it's not.
Last night was the first time that I woke up in the middle of the night thinking about my last job and I was able to calm myself down enough and go back to sleep. Normally I sit in bed until I can't, then get up and find something to try and distract my thoughts with. Being able to return to sleep is pretty significant. If I'm able to control how it affects me, I will think of it less and less. I will be able to be more productive and regain my confidence. I will be able to study effectively and do all things that I normally don't get around to doing because I don't have time (ie, work). I won't be scared to sleep, or want to sleep all day because I'm so tired from the previous night. I will have AWESOME EGGS for our trip to India in June.
I start acupuncture soon and I've started yoga recently. When I see myself about to go into a stress cycle, I try to apply mindfulness techniques (this becomes easier with practice). I'm going to start practicing breathing techniques and hope that my deviated septum won't hinder it too much. I'm looking at job options that offer more than a paycheck. I'm SLOWLY, getting back to normal.
Our original plan was not surrogacy in India, but I believe that in the end, our success will come from there. It just seems fitting.