Friday, October 12, 2012

Locked in the Bathroom

Ok, not as dramatic as it sounds, but it is true, I was locked in a bathroom, unable to escape, for 1 whole hour on Wednesday. Went to my new OB/GYN's office and upon leaving I decided to make a quick trip to the restroom. Bad idea.

The door was one of those handle doors that you pull down or up to unlock the push button. I reached for it and pulled handle down. I watched as the lock button popped out, heard a weird clunk, and then nothing. Crap. Did what I think just happen, happen? Shake it a bunch more times - yep, it did.

The only thing between me and freedom


I then proceeded to politely knock on the door. Nothing.
Then  I shake the door. LOUDLY. Still nothing.
Then I see this:

Helpful button by the toilet


Not exactly "intended use", but I really don't want to be stuck in the bathroom all day, so I ring it.

Someone comes and knocks on the door. I explain the situation and after convincing her I do NOT - in fact - have the door locked, she calls in reinforcements. They can't open it either. They shake and wiggle, but that door is not moving.

About this time I realize how hungry I am. I forgot to eat breakfast, but I did have the forethought to throw a yummy, blueberry bagel in my purse (wrapped of course). I'm starving. The bagel napkin peeks out from my purse sitting in the sink. It's after 3pm and I haven't eaten a thing. I text my BFF who I was on the way to visit and let her know my predicament.


Seriously. I could just imagine the door opening and a crowd of people standing there. And me. With my mouth full. Of what - they aren't sure of. I could totally see that happening to me. That's the sort of thing that would happen to me. Kinda like getting locked in a bathroom.

10 minutes later I overhear someone say "we could slip her a really, really thin pizza under the door" which is super weird because
    a.) I never said out loud I was hungry
    b.) girl aim is usually not that great - the floor would be the only place to set down a urine sample container  
    c.) HOW THE HELL LONG DID THEY THINK I WAS GOING TO BE IN HERE?

As the minutes tick by and I hear a new group of people attempt to bang on door handle with a hammer, it occurs to me that I am standing (in one of the few places available), directly across from the door. It occurs to me that this is not the best place to stand and I move to the corner beside the door. So here I am, a 40 year old infertile woman, trapped in her OB/GYN's bathroom, standing in a corner. And somehow the absurdity of it all, makes me smile; when all I have wanted to do for the last 2 days is cry.

At that moment the door handle goes flying across the room at lighting speed EXACTLY where I HAD been standing. POW!

The door still does not open.

video

So they screw around with the door some more. More hammer bangs ensue. I inquire as to unscrewing the hinges, but they seem to think it won't work. I inquire if I should try and use a credit cards - they give the thumbs up and I watch as my marta card splits in the middle for cramming it in the too tight space. I begin to wonder if they are going to have to break out the metal saw. Or if they even have one.

Someone tells me to make sure I'm not standing in front of the door. I refrain from a smart aleck comment. 5 minutes later, the door unceremoniously opens. Hurray!

A crowd is gathered  outside (of course) with my doctor standing in the middle. "Welcome to our practice!" Several people ask if I am ok (I was only in there for an hour folks). Knowing I'm starving and having a severe aversion to people staring at me, I quip "yea, this sort of thing happens to me all the time." As I am handed a free parking validation (woo hoo!), I notice the strange look on the lady's face. I realize she is trying to figure out if I meant I get locked in bathrooms all the time. Perhaps "yea, weird things happen to me all the time - no biggie" would have been a better response, but the moment has passed to clarify and I run out the door. There is a wrapped bagel with my name on it.

6 comments:

  1. I'm sure you didn't think so at the time, but this just cracked me up! Thanks for the laugh :)

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    1. When it hit the hour mark I started worrying, but before then was fine. The sheer absurdity (and friend texts) gave me a smile.

      One friend heard about it and texted "can you spare a square?"

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  2. Haha oh what a funny story :-) x

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    Replies
    1. lol. I was so amused at the time I was tweeting a lot of these pics in real time. The messages I got back were really funny too!

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  3. This story made me laugh out loud. I NEVER laugh out loud.

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    Replies
    1. It was an interesting day to say in the least.

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