For some reason our daily fruit package from our hotel in India always reminded me of a uterus. Don't judge, I have a great imagination and my thoughts were consumed with my lady parts already. You can even see where I pressed the cling wrap with my thumbs to try and get a better look and some tiny round fruit beneath the bananas whose name escapes me now. I'll call them the ovary fruit. (Thank goodness my Fallopian tubes don't look like that!)
With wandering thoughts today (and because it has been mentioned to me more than one at my precious age of 40), I looked up some egg donor info today. Not because I'm worried, just to prepare myself with some info should I need it.
Holy. Crap.
According the American Pregnancy Association, the costs for just the egg donation is another 15-20K. If we do it here in the US, then costs for egg donation + surrogacy + all the other expenses that go with it run around 120K (and that's ONLY if the IVF cycle is successful!) If we do it in India, the costs are much less, but the complications are way more. If I want an egg with my ancestry, then it gets SUPER complicated.
Do the process in the USA where it costs more and you chance a lower success rate by using frozen embryos or find an egg donor that is willing to travel to India (and probably go through a huge culture shock.) If we use an egg donor in India, then I have zero chances of having an egg donor with similar traits to me. In India we also run into the problem of my husband not being a US citizen and thus our child would not be. Getting the baby a visa with the HOPES that the US would approve me for adoption (and then citizenship for child) is a nightmare that might test me more than I am able to handle. (What happens if they say no after the fact???) Alternatively I can dash all hopes of any remote resemblance and we wait for the long process of US citizenship for my husband.
Crap.
Come on little embryo! You're the only prior egg left in my basket.
Grow, little embryo!!!!!! Hope you have the strength and will of your mother, then you'll be just fine :)
ReplyDeleteBig strong hugs from Sweden!
Fingers crossed for you!
ReplyDeleteHave you looked at the international donor list? I think there is one that you can use to choose from tissue all over the world. That might make it more physically like you. I knowwill there areis agencies that findI similar donors. I'm you this week, away and only have my phone for internet or else I'd google around for you some. If you haven't found that list by Sunday when I get home, I will do some digging. Also, why wouldn't your name go on the birth certificate with your husband's? Is it a citizenship problem? Is he eligible for citizenship now? How long does that take? I know nothing about that process.
ReplyDeleteUsing an egg donor (whether we do the embryos here or India) means that is we do surrogacy in India, the DNA will not match mine. Since I am the USA citizen, the DNA has to match mine.
ReplyDeleteMy husband can start the citizenship process, but I'm guessing that will take a few years unless his place of employment can expedite it. I have no idea.
I also worry that a short wildness in my youth would cause us problems if I had to adopt, which may be the case if we use a donor (not sure on this one.)