Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Book Review: Waiting for Daisy (a memoir)

Just before my recent trip to India, I was checking out what books might be on special for my Nook. Was intrigued when I saw the title pop up: Waiting for Daisy: A Tale of Two Continents, Three Religions, Five Infertility Doctors, an Oscar, an Atomic Bomb, a Romantic Night, and One Woman's Quest to Become a Mother. Immediately it was downloaded and consumed. Obviously. 
The Barnes and Nobel overview states, Peggy Orenstein’s widely hailed and bestselling memoir of her quest for parenthood begins when she tells her new husband that she’s not sure she ever wants to be a mother; it ends six years later after she’s done almost everything humanly possible to achieve that goal. Buffeted by one obstacle after another, Orenstein seeks answers both medical and spiritual in America and Asia, all the while trying to hold on to a marriage threatened by cycles, appointments, procedures, and disappointments. Waiting for Daisy is both an intimate page-turner and a wryly funny report from the front.
Orenstein is able to elegantly capture the ups and downs that infertile women go through with trying to have a baby; her story is unique, but her feelings genuine. She deals with cancer, depression, miscarriages, adoption, egg donation, career balance, mixed emotions, doctor mistakes, alternative therapies, and traveling to another continent in her pursuit of a baby. There is plenty of self-deprecating humor that lifts the book up in a way that only an insider may be able to "get". At  the beginning of the book she is making fun of how obsessive someone online seems, only to find herself in the same obsessive state later in the book. She humorously likens her path to harder medications to that of a drug addicted: " thing you know you are taking out a second mortgage to pay for your IVF treatment".
She is brutally honest and as such, some readers may not like her. She has thoughts we don't like and does actions we can't condone. Never-the-less, there will be many parts that IVFers will be able to relate to and even if you get angry at some of her choices, deep down I think many of us have guilt for something we have thought or done. She does not dwell on her guilt, but I suspect it is because publicly admitting some of the things are hard enough without lamenting on it for a long period. (Note: anyone that has gone through adoption or wishes they could go through adoption, will NOT like this book at all.)
The book ends with Peggy unexpectedly conceiving naturally, against all odds. While this is not possible for me, I still really enjoyed the book. Even though I got mad at the author on several occasions, I still felt that  bond that I feel to many of my IVF/surro bloggers who have different beliefs, different experiences, and different lives. I'm reminded how certain things can bring us all together, routing for one another, through it all. 


  1. Thanks for the review! Sounds like an interesting book.

    I will post more info about the trial in my blog as soon as I get a response to my million questions to my nurse. I'm still waiting.

    1. It was very hard to put down! Sneaked it more than once with family around (yay Nook!)

      Thanks about the trail! I saw that they had a very high success rate for our age group.

    2. I think it's the best clinic in the country but it's expensive. Your one day workoup will be around 4K before you can even cycle. But if I were you, I bite the bullet. It's the path of no regrets knowing you went to the best. I'll keep you posted. xo

    3. yea, I saw the thing about the workup on their website - I wonder if they would take some of my previous work up results from my clinic here in GA. I tried to contact them, but never heard back (seems to be a trend with clinics this week). They have fantastic stats and tons of experience.

      My biggest worry would be lowering our chances with frozen embbys. I know many don't survive the freeze/unfreeze process.

    4. They won't take your work up from anywhere else. I used to cycle with one of the doctors brothers in Beverly Hills, top clinic, and still wouldn't take them, they like to do everything there.

      Yes, the thaw of the embryos is one concern of mine too, but according to Dr. Shivani they have 90% survival rate, I just have to trust that.

      Call them again, press 0 and you'll get someone. If they transfer you to a voice mail, leave a message, they always call me back.

    5. Besides the defrosting, the freezing concerns me too. I only had one emmby last time.
      I just filled out the contact form, but I will call them. We are def doing this cycle in India now (just decided last night), but if it doesn't work than I think a cycle here and freezing may be a good alternative. Especially if I can get better # and quality of eggs here. Won't know that until after this cycle.
      P.S. You rock! Thank you for being so helpful!!!


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