Holy Crap

All of my past complaining of IVF in the US (especially in comparison to India), is suspended. Hopefully indefinitely.   For today I had 13 eggs retrieved. You read right. 13. I didn't even have that many follicles called out 2 days ago, though I suspected that the smaller ones on the left ovaries weren't called out simply due to their size.

Up until today, I've remained relatively flat regarding our outcome. Neither over excited nor pessimistic. Part of this is due to the busy schedule I have had to keep, part of it has been less time to obsessively research, and part has been that it's my 3rd cycle. People who have undergone multiple cycles know exactly what I mean by that last part.

Today I cried when the doctor told me. My husband wasn't there yet, and even though I clearly heard the doctor when he told me, I asked him to repeat himself. I asked the nurse again when she checked on me and told her I might cry. She brought me a tissue.

I'm tearing up as I type this.

Today I don't feel flat. I'm somewhat scared about how much hope I have right now. We have no idea how many will fertilize, but I'm still in shock over how many we have. For the first time "freezing embryos" and "blastocyst" are suddenly possible options for us.

UPDATE: Now I'm nervous again. Just realized that 13 doesn't necessarily mean 13. Some times eggs don't/aren't mature and your original number goes down. We've never run into this prior - the number we got was always the number we got. Sigh. Why does this always have to be such a damn roller-coaster?